Facebook: A social utility that disconnects you from the housework, relationships, and things that really matter????
Posted: Thu, 09/04/2008 - 10:37amI have a confession. I have fallen guilty to a modern generation addiction. It has the ability to suck time away from your day the way your son or daughter can probably consume a glass of chocolate milk, fast without even stopping for a break. Facebook is defined as a social utility that connects you with the people around you. Facebook has connected me with the people around me, as in my sisters and girlfriends in Cape May County. It also has connected me to an ex-boyfriend, numerous high school friends, the pastor of my church, and friends that I used to attend ballet classes with when I was as tall as my thigh. (My thighs were much smaller in those days.) Facebook filled me in on the happenings in the lives of my relationships from the past. It is fun and I especially enjoy bragging about my wonderful husband and my favorite pictures of the two most adorable children in the world (that I just happen to be a mom to)! I have checked in on my ex-boyfriend (and let him know how wonderful my life is without him), spied on my sisters (and made sure they didn't attend the keg party down the street), and viewed pictures of my younger days wearing a pink tutu with a neon green scrunchy in my hair(what was I thinking)! As I do all of this catching up, I am also finding the truth about the not so visible side of Facebook.
Up until now, I have tried my hardest to not look upon my life as a "grass is greener on the other side" way of thinking, and to be thankful and be content in what I have been given. I am left to wonder that while loosing touch with great friends in the past has been an un-likable repercussion of growing up, some of these relationships I did choose to terminate in the first place (for example, my ex-boyfriends).
MRS. NANCY CRAFTS, MSW & LCSW of Cape May Court House, says that "until now, the internet has helped with communication and has caused interaction which can be a very positive thing!" She continues, "but if a mate is feeling isolated, having no one to truly talk to, it can cause a relationship to be vulnerable."
Personally this is my fear for the marriages in Cape May County. What about the people that are not as fulfilled in their life as I am? Can it possibly lead to affairs, detrimental parenting, and the social anxiety that haunted so many of us during our high school days? I would be more than willing to attend a high school reunion and chum it up with the class of '99 but, I have to admit that the thought of a high school reunion just seems less fun, now that Facebook has chimed in. Facebook, is its own reunion, in a new generation sort of way. Other than saving myself the ticket price of the reunion, wasting a perfect excuse to buy a kick-butt dress, and putting my husband through the most agonizing night of his life, 1/2 the fun has already been experienced. Catching up and getting reacquainted has been accomplished, now what?
Now Facebook, this time sink, has now come up with movie quizzes, the ability to dedicate songs to your friends, chat with your "friends" (most of the worth while conversations could be dialed and dealt with in less time with a more personal effect) and the ability to challenge, give gifts (virtual of course), express your current status or emotion, and play numerous types of games. Did I mention it could help you procrastinate on your housework, make the dog feel neglected, take time away from your husband/wife, and play (more games), but less with your kids??
Nancy Crafts has added and encourages, "If you feel your relationship is vulnerable already, seeking therapy would be a smart choice. A professional can help problem solve and would help you address the relationships that are the forefront of the problem."
I don't mean to ruin anyone's "Facebook mojo"! It is fun. I have enjoyed catching up with my peeps. My husband makes fun of my obsession with Facebook and always asks me what mood my local friends are in, all the while mocking me. I am happy that I have my family. I am happy that I have been able to experience this kind of connection with this generation and I have rekindled some old relationships, let me add.....that are friends. Moms (and dads) out there that are dealing with the adjustment of growing families and change, Facebook can be a blessing or a curse all rolled into one. Beware!
Motherhood Avenue

By Elizabeth Norton
Take a trip down Motherhood Ave with Elizabeth Norton, a 27 year old business owner but most importantly a wife and mother. Elizabeth pokes fun at her own imperfections as she discusses matters of motherhood, Cape May County family adventures, and hot topics that affect the families of today.
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Sat, 09/13/2008 - 6:01am
As a mom who likes to play MMORPG's (those crazy online games) I've seen the comments that people make about those who play such games. I've seen the wives who are so fustrated that their husbands/so's are constantly on such a huge time sink.
No matter if it's Facebook/Myspace or some online game, a crack in a marriage or relationship will become magnified pretty quickly. I'm a firm believer that people are unhappy way before an addiction forms. Online is an addiction you can watch up close, which makes it so hard for the other mate to figure out how to handle.
Ami