On June 14, we attended Good Samaritan Baptist Church in North Cape May for a baptismal service. Pastor Milton Wilson said his sermon was prepared in advance for Father’s Day. He lived the entire previous week under the false notion that Sunday was Father’s Day.

Not until he arrived at the church, and his daughter told him it was Flag Day, did it dawn on him that, no, June 21 was Father’s Day. Such things happen, especially when we set in our minds that, as the pastor stated, Mother’s Day is the second Sunday in May, why isn’t Father’s Day the second Sunday in June.

The cleric was not alone in those thoughts, but of course I wasn’t about to blurt my ignorance. The important thing is not the day, but the idea behind it.

So many people remark at Christmas, “Oh, I wish this day could last all year!” While the day cannot last more than 24 hours, the concept to honor fathers and mothers can also happen each and every day.

I looked at the smiling faces of recent graduates. Timeless as they were, those same faces could have been from 1951 or 1973, 1948 or 1927. Caps and gowns have changed little through the years, but smiles always seem to abound.
And well we know it, somewhere in that graduate’s mind, good, bad or indifferent, is the memory of a father.

In many cases, it’s the mother who guided the grads to success, but somewhere along the trail, there was likely some sage advice, maybe a sound scolding or other punishment meted out by an angry father when he saw his beloved offspring stray from what he viewed as the right path.

In many instances, fathers write the checks that make possible all the good things a young person needs of admires: cars, clothes, and even college educations and even some less appealing things.

For their devotion to family, some dads may have gotten nifty tools, socks, underwear, ties and the like. Small tokens, to be sure, and likely appreciated, but I believe what many fathers truly wanted was a hug or handshake, maybe a kiss for the years spent doing the duty of a dad.

The government seems to be in the business of licensing everything from A to Z. Thankfully, it has no test to license those who would be a wise and good father. That is left to each man to fathom on his own.

There area no “Father Schools” where a man can spend time to learn what to do and not do in certain events. They may train him to give babies baths and change diapers, how to do quick repairs on electronic gadgets and when to keep one’s mouth shut and ideas to himself, but other than that, we fathers know it’s mostly on-the-job training from Day One.

Fathers from days of yore did not share many of the duties modern men share. Rearing of the children was, back then, mother’s task. The duty of the father was to produce money, somehow, and be there to change light bulbs, oil and fix things around the house that needed repair.

Roles are changing today, and that can only be viewed as good.

While roles may be undergoing modification, there is and will always be a revered place for a father, a male model, for whom children may model their lives, or possibly in opposition to that man.

Maybe Dad worked too hard to make money for the family. He possibly thought he was doing the right thing. To the contrary, his family may have misunderstood his motives, thinking he honored work over family. Hence, his offspring may promise themselves to fashion a model that is 180 degrees different than Dad, possibly for the better.

Several years ago, I attended an event hosted by a Whitesboro church. The men of that church came to understand their nontransferable responsibility to instill worthy values in young men. They know what society may refuse to acknowledge: There is undeniable value in a father’s role in training up his children, but especially his sons.

Lacking that stalwart bastion of stability, young men are likely to stray down undesirable paths. Some may seek that role model in gangs that ultimately lead them to a life of disaster. Others never find satisfaction in their life and work, all because they had no male model against which to measure themselves.

While Father’s Day has passed for another year, why not seize today to either thank, in person or by phone, the man who you called Father or Dad? If that man is “on the other side,” cherish his memory by reflecting on the times you spent with him, the things he said and did for you that molded and resulted in the person you are today.

In life, things are forever fluid. Today lasts only until the sun sets in Delaware Bay. Fortunate for us, who got to know our father, the ideas and values he instilled last longer than a day or a lifetime. Some were so great and timeless; they were passed to our sons and daughters, and from them to our posterity.

That’s how important a father can be.