Woodie R. Pecker.

I want to thank Mr. Hall for inviting me to write this week, and especially for including my picture. If I do say so myself, I am probably the handsomest bird you have ever seen down here at the beach.
You gulls can soar and scrap with the best of them, and I do admire a red wing black bird, but my elegant red head is a real “head turner.” I really don't mean to brag but I think my incredible beauty may be the reason I have received such a welcome at my new home in Woodbine at the sanitary landfill.

Talk about affordable housing – was there ever anyone as generous as our state's DEP? I happened to be flying over, and then flew down to take a look and the rest is history. How could I turn down 12 free acres that is mine forever and goes to my little woodpeckers whether they decide to set up housekeeping here or not? Who said a home at the shore was not affordable?

Why, they are giving them away at the DEP – for us birds at least, if not for two legged folks. Another part of this arrangement includes a 300-foot diameter around my lovely beach cottage nest. You see, they are really treating me so fine. And I only have to claim it – no money down – no mortgage (although I understand you good folks paid a measly $4.8 million to some little ole Pinelands Commission to be able to use the land for a landfill).

Well, as I said such a generous heart is ever so hard to find!

But that's not all – I get to fly away anywhere I like and be protected for 75 feet around my favorite soaring spots. Can you beat that? Well, you folks in this county may be looking for places for the working people to live, but I don't understand what all the fuss is about – just ask those kind people up in Trenton for a place to nest – they seem to have plenty of them.

Maybe next year I'll be looking for a new nest site – I think I'll try that terrific empty lot over in Wildwood. But first we'll get someone to clear things out for that 300-foot perimeter around my new nest and then I'll be looking for my new favorite flight patterns...

Bye Bye, Cape May County, enjoy your winter. See you in the spring. Thanks for the welcome and my very “affordable housing.”