We’re getting our pitching arms in shape at the Herald.
It’s all in preparation for a softball game to benefit Volunteers in Medicine, the non-profit organization that provides free healthcare to county residents who are uninsured and in need.
It started one day when I got oddly enthusiastic about the fact Middle Township Recreation Department was putting out the call for softball teams of all ages.
Reading those words on that press release, I suddenly found myself transported, organ music playing in the background, lights on the field, and, while I attribute this reverie to the fact I was ripe for a mid-afternoon, post lunch nap, sure enough, I began smelling the freshly mown grass out on the field, just as the sun was beginning to set; began feeling how dewy and cool it was between my toes. I imagined standing way, way out in the outfield and chowing down on a hot dog or two, no one really to talk to out there, but enjoying it just the same, and in between bites, yelling, “Batter, batter, batter, batter …”
Cheering on the home team.
Baseball. It’s All-American. It’s fun. It’s summer.
I had to share my enthusiasm with my fellow writers.
That enthusiasm was infectious, apparently, and got things rolling down the pike and before I knew it, my fantasy of a friendly game of softball, the smell of leather and the sting of the ball in the mitt with everyone looking forward to the trip to the bar afterward, turned into a … much … bigger event.
I blame Herald reporter Jack Fichter.
He got the idea in his head that we should challenge those rogues from Exit Zero out on the softball diamond, and show them a thing or two about what we’re really made of. He further thought that people might well pay good money to see us either whoop them or (much more likely) be whooped.
Before I knew it, he’d called and we were committed.
I really hadn’t thought much about “what I’m made of.” I thought I was just made of … well, I don’t know, really, the same stuff everyone else is. I was really just looking forward to the hot dogs and beer before this whole thing started.
Now, however, we are prepping for this thing as if it were the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, only without the steroids. I must say, that if beer were some sort of athletic performance enhancer, we’d every last one be disqualified.
Meanwhile, having gone out a couple of times to the batting cages to see what I’m made of, I’m thinking that tee-ball is about my speed.
The morning after the first night I went out to the batting cages, I woke up and felt like I’d been hit by a large … thing. A bus, perhaps. Or a large cougar, which surprised me by jumping out from behind a craggy outcropping and knocked me over and down a very large mountain. My shoulders, arms, back … everything ached.
I think the physical exertion literally made my body muscles in my lower back convulse through the night like a fish flapping around on a dock.
I even got a cold from it.
A cold.
From batting a softball.
It was then I decided that I am, either:
1. old
2. not that old, but a fairly weak girly woman.
3. not that old, not a fairly weak girly woman, but rather, simply in possession of latent, great, untapped potential which must be honed with patience by those with superior knowledge and skill, and that, with persistent coaching, that potential might actually become the source of superstardom on the playing field.
Barring any unforeseen injuries between now and then, we soon shall see just what I’m made of out on the field, and whether No. 1, 2 or 3 is the reality.
I am thankful that there are others on my team who have a real knack for this game.
Jack Wright, Exit Zero, if you’re reading this, we’re gonna be ready.
We’ve considered the fact you might beat us, but we think our odds are pretty good going in.
I’m sure that come game day, I’ll be in top form.
And if I’m not, well, at least I’ll try to look good for the cameras.
Come out and see us crack the bats. The Herald Skeeters versus the Exit Zero Zeroes.
July 17, 2008, 7 p.m. at the Carl Mitnick School’s Ralph Bakely Recreation Complex (behind the school). 905 Seashore Road, Lower Township. Scott Wahl of 98.7 The Coast Radio will be announcing the game. Musical entertainment will be provided between innings by Shannon and Wesley along with free giveaways. Food will be available at the concession stand. There’s plenty of free parking and it’s only $3 to get in for adults and children are free; it’s an inexpensive night out with the family, and the proceeds will go toward a really great cause.